How to Get a Girl

You could be the fugliest guy in the world, but if you carried this around with you, you'd be a babe magnet.

Meet Max

This is my newest baby, Max. He's a three-year-old Pomeranian. His previous owner threw him away. I guess he didn't want him anymore, so he moved and left the dog in the yard to fend for himself. kRAPBAG.

As you can see in the picture, Max and Ella are getting along. They enjoy playing with each other. Ella's a bit jealous, but I hope she'll get over that in time. I know she likes having a playmate other than her mother and father.

New Do

I'm not thrilled with the length, but it'll grow. I like the bangs though. They seem to help with my IMAX forehead.

Getting Back on Track

I know I haven't blogged in a while. None of use, save Kari, have done much lately. Things are crazy for everybody right now: Jon's opening his new store this week and has been preparing for it for about 2 months now, Kasey's nearing her due date at a rapid pace, Brandi's getting married next month (don't freak out--you still have a little while to prepare), and Alicia's newly engaged and is planning her wedding. Jennifer J. really has no excuse. Kari is the only one who's stayed the course and let us into her life.

Now that I'm no longer working in hell (aka UoP), I feel more at peace and am ready to start blogging again. I hope to see everyone's comments so I don't feel like a loser.

Stay tuned for absolutely intriguing information that's soon to come!

Fat Cat

Dang. Girl Lives in the Ghetto

Everytime I watch Forrest Gump and it gets to the part where the lady on the bench with Forrest tells him that Jenny's house on Henry Street is only 5 blocks from where they are and he doesn't need to take the bus, I always think "Dag. Henry Street? Jenny lives in the GHETTO!"

Like a Tiger

We had to put Audrey down Thursday. She had stopped eating and was wasting away.

She was Audrey until the end. Jon took her outside on Wednesday and she went straight into the woods. She always loved the woods and to go anywhere she wasn't supposed to. That night she was as naughty as ever: she snuck food from my bowl of ice cream when I had put it on the table beside the couch.

I think she looks like a tiger in these pictures. She always reminded me of a tiger. I told Kasey that and she said something that gave me peace: "That's a nice way to end a life. Like a tiger."

Smooshed Kitten Belly

I wonder what Evie's bald belly would look like...

For Brandi

I couldn't resist. At least it's not too big.

The Lottery Changed My Life

Today I watched 2 hours of a show called The Lottery Changed My Life. Obviously, it was about how winning the lottery changed people’s lives. Of course, this led me to wonder how the lottery would change my life. This is one of my favorite games to play: What would I do if I won the lottery.

1. Jon and I would retire.
2. We would pay off all our bills.
3. We would do good stuff like donate money and do charity work.
4. We would also go on great trips to all the fabulous places we wanted to go to on a whim.
5. We could help loved ones who need financial help.
6. I could get my grandma a Sleep By Numbers Bed.

I like to think I wouldn’t go crazy and buy a million dollar house and insane cars. I would just love to live a debt free life and do things that I enjoy.

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Need a Chest and Nightstand?

I'm moving a few things around in some of my spare rooms and no longer need nor have room for these two pieces. Would any of you like them? I know they're just pieces of furniture, but I'd like them to go to a good home where they'll be appreciated.

Guilty Pleasure

I can't help myself. I LOVE The Girls Next Door. They seem like such nice girls. Jon's ashamed of my fascination with them and says he feels uncomfortrable watching the show. I don't know why any male would feel funny watching three hot playbody models with his wife's encouragement, but he does. Sometimes I secretly wish I was one of the girls next door.

I couldn't resist.

What Is This Feeling?

For the first time ever, I’m happy and content. No, things aren’t perfect, but I don’t feel like they’re out of control. To be honest, things never were out of control, but in my mind they were. Now, thanks to a little orange pill I like to call Paxil, I think I see life through realistic eyes.

Things are good. My sister is having a baby, my brother (who I’m sure will have a mullet and wear mesh tank tops), and my best cousin is having a baby. I’m so excited.

Jon’s home from his year on the road with Petco.

I’ve worked out a plan to pay off our debt.

I’ll be teaching a class at AASU this fall. I won’t be teaching a class at UoP this fall.

I think I might actually sell some jewelry in the next few months with the help of my sister, Teri.

Good times.

Vote or Die

JJ and I were debating who the better dancer was in her hayday: Britney or Madonna?

If You Read It, It Must Be True

I hate that people believe everything they read on the internet without questioning it.

Today I got a forwarded e-mail that is making its rounds. You may have seen it. It’s about an 809 area code scam. The scam, while real, is highly exaggerated in the e-mail. When I read that if you call a number with an 809 area code you get charged $2425 a minute, I said to myself, “I don’t believe that.” I looked it up, and it was crap. Yes, 809 area codes are pay per minute numbers, but you’re not charged thousands of dollars per minute. It’s actually about 25 cents. The e-mail also said some people had charges of $24,000. Lies. They would have to be on the phone for (literally) days to accrue those types of charges.

People seldom use common sense anymore. I mean really. We’ve all got the e-mail taking about HIV infected needles being taped to gas pumps so when people pick up the pump to get their gas, they get stuck with the needle and get AIDS! Yikes! Never mind using your head and realizing (as you’re taught in elementary school and middle school) that AIDS isn’t an airborne disease and even though the needle was dirty, after having been exposed to the air for that long the virus wouldn’t survive.

I admit to being a very gullible girl, but come on! If I have to hear about someone who knows someone who knows someone named Shitheed (spelled Shithead), I will vomit.

I know I’m preaching to the choir and I don’t receive those stupid e-mails from the people that read this blog, but I just had to vent. How do you tell loved ones they’re idiots for believing and forwarding this tripe without hurting their feelings?

You Learn Something New Every Day

Today, at the age of 26, I have learned to subtract. Sadly, I’m not joking. Until today, I couldn’t subtract large sums where numbers had to be borrowed.

Not to pick on the Long County School system, but that’s where I was led astray. Other students from there are able to subtract fine (and in the normal manner); however, I was taught some strange way to subtract large numbers and I always end up with the wrong answer.

The only other person I know who was taught the wrong way, too, is my cousin, Melanie. Her mom sat her down last year to teach her subtraction skills. She was 26 at the time.

Unable to balance my checkbook properly the other day (without checking my math and correcting my answers), I’d had enough. I resolved to learn to subtract. I am proud to say that thanks to JJ’s guidance and teaching skills, I’m now a math whiz. Maybe not a whiz, but I can at least balance my checkbook.

I was just wondering if anyone else had a basic skill that they never mastered at the appropriate age. Or perhaps Melanie and I are the only ones.

No Wonder Children Are Slutty

Will you get a load of this BABY in a triangle-top bikini?!! At first I couldn't believe this was a "real" picture. Surely this baby is just playing dress up in Mommy's bathing suit. But no. This sultry swimsuit can be bought for children from 0-18 months.

The Humbert Humberts of the world are rejoicing in our sordid, oversexed society. These little girls in string bikinis are the ones who only a few years later wear shorty shorts that say "Sassy" and "I'm Hot" on the seat of their pants. Hello perverts of the world! Please look at my butt!

I know I'm pruder than most people. But am I completely out there in thinking this bathing suit on an INFANT is disgusting?

(Side note: I'm okay with women wearing things like this; just not infants. I don't think children of any age should be sexualized.)

Confession

I failed. I can’t even make it 24 hours without buying anything. Boo. Either way, I ordered a fabulous dress from Overstock. I also ordered a cover for my computer. I think both of those items were necessary.

The pic of my pup is not relevant to this post; I just thought you might enjoy it.

Is This Possible?

Lately Jon and I have been trying to save the world one small step at a time. We’ve made some small concessions in our daily lives: Jon no longer prints receipts at the gas pump nor does he use a ton of napkins while I no longer use Lysol disinfectant wipes but instead use a wet rag and spray. Also, I am trying to stop using Ziplock bags and am carrying my food in reusable containers and am no longer using plastic cutlery. (Jon, feel free to add more to your list.) I’m saving the world one sandwich at a time.

I read an article on Yahoo Finance today called “Want To Save Money? Don’t Shop.” The article discussed a group of people who didn’t buy anything new for 6 months. The endeavor wasn’t to save money but to battle consumerism. (They did allow themselves to buy food, medical necessities, and toiletries.) If they did need to purchase clothing or other items, they bought them used or borrowed from a friend. Also, they supported local businesses and bought gift certificates and such if the needed to give a gift.

I’ve decided to try this, although my decision is two-fold. I want to stop buying so much crap that I totally don’t need, but I also want to save money and pay off debt. This trial will force me to be more resourceful and less wasteful. I’m excited about it right now, but we’ll see how excited I am when I can’t buy a new purse.

If anyone would like to try it with me, let me know and we’ll form our own group.

Is it just me, or am I slowly but surely becoming a hippy?