Help!

I'm desperate. My research paper for the novel is due the week of the 12th (only two weeks away!). I can't come up with a topic to save my life. I know I'd like to do my paper on either Pride and Prejudice, Silas Marner, or To the Lighthouse, but I can't figure out a topic for any of them. Suggestions would be very welcome!

Home

I've always considered home to be the house in Ludowici that I grew up in. This does not mean I don't consider my own house "home," but my home base was always in Ludowici.

However, I've come to realize over the past year or so that a house does not make a home. My family no longer live in the Ludowici house, but my dad has not sold it: he rented it out. The renter moved out but left her boyfriend in the house even though he wasn't on the lease. He was finally made to leave, but now the house is trashed from what my dad and mom tell me. I haven't seen the inside of it in about 8 years, but every once in a while I drive by.

The last time I drove by, I was shocked. The outside, which was always kept so tidy by my father, was a mess. There was a broke down 4-wheeler up against the house. The bushes were giant and the grass looked like the Amazon. The screen door to the porch was no where to be found; there was just a big gap where the door used to be.

I told my parents I would help them repair the home (painting and such). It needs a little updating. I secretly wish that once the "renovations" are complete, my parents will move back into the house.

I know that a house doesn't make a home; it's the family who are there that make a warm, inviting home. That's why I feel as equally at home at my sister Teri's house- because I love my family and our time we spend there. I still think it would be fun to go visit my parents in the Ludowici house though....

Falling in Love

Brandi has forbade me to move on to another topic until I write about “Falling in Love.”

There’s nothing exceptionally romantic about my falling in love story. Jonathan and I had been best friends for about a year and a half. I had other boyfriends and considered Jon “one of the girls.” I often mentioned that he was as good as gay since I never thought of him romantically.

I don’t know what changed or when. I remember realizing I liked Jon in that special way but was too afraid to say anything because I wasn’t sure if he felt the same. I didn’t want to say anything and risk things being weird with us since he was my bff.

Months passed and I became more confident that he liked me back. Such things as a thoughtful birthday present and him brushing my hair and kissing my neck in class gave it away. Subtle, I know.

I remember him saying something that motivated me to confidently say, “How long have you liked me?” The rest is history. I taught Jon the ways of the world. Although it’s not an option for everyone and many relationships are fine without it, I think being best friends first made everything even better.

Wasting Time

Brandi’s topic for the day could not have been more perfect. Wasting time. This is a daily event for me. I have so many productive things I could be doing at work, home, and school. I have plenty of free time. So why don’t I get anything done until the last minute?

Our midterm for The Novel was due today, but Dr. W pushed the due date back to Friday at noon. Am I being a dutiful student and finishing ahead of schedule as was originally planned? Of course not. I could easily finish the paper today since I have the majority of it done anyway, but I’m wasting time and thinking, I’ll finish tomorrow and drop it off after work tomorrow evening. (This is not to mention that I’m at work and should only be doing work related things; once again, wasting time.)

When I go home, I could be productive. I could clean, organize, or do homework, but alas, I sit and eat in front of the tv. I think about how I want to be productive in all aspects of my life and not waste anymore time; however, I guess I’m not that motivated after all since I do nothing to remedy the situation.

Horray!

Horray! Audrey (my cat) just woke up from her surgery! (For those of you who do not follow my kitten saga, she has a hyper thyroid and her meds were no longer working; other than wait for her to die, this was our only option.)

I was just excited and thought I'd share!

Father's Day

Yesterday my dad was in a pissy mood, so he stayed sequestered in his apartment all day and would not allow any of the family to see him. I gave Mom his father's day card to take home to him. I tried to call him twice, but each time he did not answer his phone.

I was really excited about giving him his present. My father really likes John Wayne. One of his favorite movies (and one Kasey tells me he's been talking about for a while) is The Quiet Man. One of the downtown theatres is playing that movie on a night in July, so I thought it would be neat to give him an invitation to dinner and the movie.

I feel selfish for being disappointed and upset for not being able to see him yesterday and have him be excited by my gift, but at the same time I feel justified. It's not just about the gift. So many of my friends no longer have their fathers in their lives or are countries away from their loved ones. I know they would give anything to spend the day with their fathers. And mine is sitting holed up in his apartment not answering phone calls. I want to yell at him and tell him that father's day isn't just for fathers. It's for the children who love their fathers and want to show them their appreciation.

I don't feel like this post is very coherent. I'm upset. I'm disappointed. I'm angry. I just knew I would feel better if I wrote it out and got it out of my system. I haven't really talked about it to anyone because I was trying to convince myself that it really didn't bother me.

I Stole From Alicia Too

What kind of an ACCENT are you?

ENGLISH - You're a very classy and refined individual. You stand up straight, you're more of a leader than a follower and though I'm sure you have a wild side, you know when to tuck it away and be proper. Cheers!
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The Novel

I’m taking The Novel this summer on Mondays and Wednesdays from 6:00-9:10 for six weeks. We’re reading Moll Flanders, Pride and Prejudice, Frankenstein, A Tale of Two Cities, Silas Marner, and To the Lighthouse.

I know a lot of you have already taken this class or at least read some of the books listed. I was wondering if anyone had any special insight or opinions they wanted to share about any of the novels listed. Other than To the Lighthouse, I have not read any of them. I’m interested to hear what everyone has to say about these novels.

Stress (Per Brandi's Fab Idea)

I let myself get stressed out too much. I’m stressed about this week. We’re conducting a lot of staff training this week: 14 two hour and 1 one hour workshops to be exact. I’m prepared for it. Copies are made, workshops have been created, and I’m mentally ready.

However, school starts this week as well. MW from 6:00- 9:10 I will be sitting in Dr. Winterhalter’s class with what I assume will be a bunch of dull eyed, fluff brained juniors. I don’t know of anyone who is taking the class, but 19 or the 20 seats have been filled. I’m not as excited about classes starting as usual, which I know is a direct result of having no good friends taking the class with me. Who will I make fun of the other students with during and after class?

I will leave work at 5 today and drive to class. An hour is plenty of time to get to class early. I’d be leaving work at 5 even if I didn’t have class. This seems like a no or low stress situation.

So why do I feel so stressed out? Why do I feel like this week, coupled with a busy work schedule and the first week of class, is going to be hectic? I let myself get too worked up. I realize I bring it on myself, but I don’t have a clue how to stop it.