Sir Paul McCartney’s soon to be ex-wife is alleging that he beat her. I do not believe that. In fact, that’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard.
I’ve come up with an unbeatable defense lest Sir Paul hire me as his attorney. Listed below are my reasons why idiot Heather Mills is lying:
1) Sir Paul smokes weed; people who do this are relaxed, not hyped up. Relaxed people don’t beat their wives
2) Sir Paul is a vegan. It is a proven fact that only meat eaters beat their wives.
3) Heather Mills only has one leg. People do not beat people with only one leg.
4) Sir Paul nursed his true love, Linda, through her fatal cancer. It is another proven fact that people who nurse their wives through cancer do not abuse their wives.
All in all, I think I’ve developed a air tight case for Sir Paul’s innocence. I would just like to give him a shout out: Sir Paul, we know Heather is lying! Stand tall.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Heather Mills Is A Liar
Posted by Kirsten at 1:52 PM
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6 comments:
Not bad. I think you could give Nancy Grace a run for the money. And you're much nicer and prettier than she is anyway. I totally agree with the vegan comment, too. Don't you have to be fairly tough to beat someone up? I would think a non-meat eater wouldn't have the strength to give anyone a smackdown. Plus, if she's as vile as I think she is, she would probably fight back anyway. I don't buy her as the helpless victim.
She thinks people will think she's helpless cause she only has one leg, but in literature the villans are always flawed in some visible way, so I think we know the truth about Mrs. Mills.
Ah, good point.
I hate Heather Mills! I do not believe a word she says. Money grubbing whore! Good point about the visible flaw. She could ne Helga from Good Country People.
I love how you turn a disability into character flaw invisibilily cloak.
I lose all reason with my cats all the time. In fact, this weekend, Evie pooped the floor and hid behind the bed. I got the dustbuster out and stuck it under there so she fled. Then I shut the bedroom door and chased her around the house. By the time I caught her she was terrified and I felt bad, so I just heldher and cried and told her I loved her, but couldn't keep her if she kept crapping the floor. She hasn't done it since.
I do have a psycho streak, but it doesn't include lying about knights. Psycho is okay, but lying is not, especially when noone believes your lies in the first place.
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